Top Tips for the Safety and Nurture of Young People

A couple of our youth workers within the DC communities put together some top tips to assist other youth workers, teachers, support workers, family members, foster carers and so on when a young person comes out to them, and for hosting safe spaces. These tips are not all-encompassing, they are the tip of the iceberg. They were put together very much in consultation with young people. Enjoy!

TOP TIPS when a young person comes out to you as LGBT+

1. Remember that you do not get this moment back. Take your time, breathe and show that you are listening well. Give the young person your full attention by keeping eye contact (even if they don’t!), nodding and smiling.

2. Avoid phrases such as ‘I still love you’. It sounds like you love them despite something awful they have done. Instead, use fully affirming phrases such as ‘I am delighted that you told me. Thank you for being brave. You are you, and that is awesome! I’m here to support you.’

3. Ask how you can best support them. Some people will know exactly what type of support they need. For those who don’t know, ask them more specifically with questions such as, “Do you need any support from me regarding your family context?” and “What do you need when you are here [youth work space] to feel safe, comfortable and included?”

4. Let them know they can talk to you at any point about this, they may need to talk more about it and this gives them permission to continue the conversation.

TOP TIPS for hosting a safe and inclusive youth work space

1. Be inclusive of different views. Only allowing a platform for limited opinions and views can feel pushy and isolating.

2. Talk to your young people about what would help them and their friends to feel valued and welcomed - that shows them that this is something that you feel is important.

3. Allow the young people to use language that they feel comfortable with: names, pronouns and identities, remembering that they may only be able to use these within your space.

4. Encourage respect and dignity towards all people in your youth work rules / group contract, and find creative and fun ways to foster this within your programmes (e.g. doing a fun event during Pride, showing films with LGBT+ themes such as ‘Love, Simon’)

TOP TIPS for youth workers directly from LGBT+ young people

1. “Let me be me. Guide and support me, but don’t try to make me be somebody else, or to fit a mould to please other people.”

2. “Ask me what I need. Sometimes I might not know and that’s OK. Keep asking. Let me direct you to support my needs.”

3. “Include LGBT+ stuff in your programmes. Like, when you’re talking about inspirational or famous people, include LGBT+ people. Or when you’re talking about relationships, don’t only talk about male and female couples. Talk about how there are lots of sexualities, relationships and families. Help me to love well regardless of who my partner might be. ”

4. “Speak positively about LGBT+ in sessions and general conversations and challenge homophobia or transphobia when it occurs - what you don’t say can say as much as what you do.”